Stuck

I remember how over whelming it was at the college realising that people actually cared for me as much as I cared for them and its been even harder to come to terms with the fact that I am no longer in that environment but that I am out in the real world with normal people who are just not as careful and thoughtful in a way. Spending time with people here in Cambodia has at many times been a big dissapointment on all areas except one and that is the center and my angels. Its become even clearer now after being gone for sometime and coming back how wonderful these kids are. I cant quite judge how much I mean to them if any at all but its just a great feeling seeing their faces brightening when they spot you and I can just feel how deep in it I am. This is more over whelming than anything before but I absolutly and completly love these children. They are sooo beautiful and I wish them the world and I wish I could give them anything and my heart feels a string pulling tight every time I think of them and how I will be able to just get on with my life after this and I wont know what will happen to them... I'm trying to explain but it doesnt quite feel as if I'm manaing but its just too much for me to come back and see them and get their hugs or kisses that arent reallly kisses but still lasts for ten minutes :) Don't know what to do.